linger
by DaisyFlowers
Summary: interconnected one-shots set in the marauders' era, taking place across time and space. a tale of tragedy, romance, heartbreak, and most of all, everlasting friendship! (story is better than summary, i promise.)
1. Chapter 1

chapter 1: linger

summary: lily evans loved james potter, but before that she loved another, and it was those bits of that person she saw in james she fell in love with.

They were eleven when she saw him for the first time. He had been small, shorter than her, shoulders drawn together tightly to ensure he took up minimal space. She had been fascinated at the Hogwarts Express, at the sleek and polished surfaces in the interior that seemed to radiate magic, and had paid him no notice, bouncing up and down in her excitement, and he had walked past, refusing perhaps scared to look up and meet the eyes of anyone around him. This incident was lodged in one of the remotest corners of her brain, and only when she began thinking of him more often than she'd like to admit, it sprang forth.

That year, her first at Hogwarts, had passed in a perfect dream-like state, and for once she had not minded the schoolwork and her usual lack of strong friendships. In the library, devouring as much knowledge as she could, she had befriended Remus, the boy on the train, who had also been raised in a non-magical environment. They had talked of home, how much they missed it and how much they didn't all at once, and how fascinating it was that such a beautifully diverse world existed in the crevices of normality. That year, she had felt nothing but kinship for him, and a mild sort of sympathy at his frequent absences and perpetually disheveled appearance.

Second year came, and Remus, due to his budding friendship with the other Gryffindor boys, drifted from her. This prompted her to spend an increasing amount of time alone, until the other girls in her year, maybe out of pity, opened their arms and took her into their circle. Dorcas, punk, loud, uncaring; Marlene, girly, adrift, strong; Alice, sarcastic, quiet, elegant had surprised her with their vastly different personalities, but the four girls functioned well as a unit, giggling over older boys, talking about Muggle and wizard things alike, and enjoying the others' company. Occasionally, she would catch Remus in the library, and they would exchange anecdotes, she scoffing at the many idiocities of his friends, and _him smiling_ politely at tales of hers. He had developed a sort of wary confidence about him, and didn't seem as conscious of his scars as he had before, though he still attempted actively to hide them. He was an enig_ma, and she knew he had a lot more to him than he was letting on, so she could not resist confirming the niggling suspicion she had, and one Sunday afternoon in October she inter_jected him in the hallways, pulling him into a shadowy alcove.

"You're a werewolf," she had stated simply, not wanting to cause him prolonged discomfort and insecurity.

At this, his face has paled completely, and his heart beat had quickened so much she could swear she heard it resounding off the walls. He had tried stammering that she was incorrect, that it was all a big misunderstanding, but she had simply interlaced her fingers with his and boldly declared with the courage only a young Gryffindor could muster, "You're a werewolf, but before that you're my friend, and if you think I like you any less because of that, you're wrong. You're gentle and sweet and funny, and the wolf cannot take that from you. You are the same as before, always will be, don't you forget that."

He had stared at her a long time after that, his shock-widened eyes slowly receding into gratitude. "You won't tell anyone?" he had enquired hesitatingly, at which she had scoffed, replying, "Of course not," and he had pulled her into a hug before realizing that she was female, worse, a female with developing lady-parts, and thus not-huggable for the sake of coolness. They had stood there awkwardly for a while, red flushing both their cheeks, and had spent the remainder of the day together, intently ignoring the conversation they had had before.

Third-year saw a new Remus, wild, carefree and happy, but still contained in that quiet manner of his. He continued to excel in nearly all classes, all while meandering about the castle with the group of boys who had annoyingly begin calling themselves 'The Marauders'. Lily felt like whatever knowledge she had of him, aspects of his personality which were privy to her, were slowly slipping out of her grasp like sand. His witty jabs were now heard by everyone in the class, not just her. His unique demeanor now made a few heads turn in the hallways, though he took no notice. This aggravated Lily, who had taken to stare at him discreetly during mealtimes, as though the force of her gaze would make her a Legimens, able to read his mind, and figure out how the brains of frustratingly good-looking boys worked. Dorcas, one day noting the subject of her gaze, had remarked, "He's cute," and when Lily had turned, cheeks hot in protest, the words 'It's not like that!' on the tip of her tongue, she had stopped. Because oh Merlin, _it was like that._

Upon this revelation, she began avoiding him like the plague, but he seemed to seek her out even so. The more time they spent together, the more the butterflies in her stomach danced, pirouetting and spinning, until they vanished entirely. She felt an eerie sort of calm around him, and she talked to him like she did with no one else. _Soulmates, _one treacherous part of her mind teased her. _Shut up_, she advised it. These internal ramblings of the thirteen-year old witch were soon disclosed to her girl friends, who huddled on the bed had laughed, "Oh but Lily! You are our best friend, how could we not already know!"

Fourth-year Remus was suddenly a whole foot taller than her and moving in the awkward way of a teenage boy with more limbs than he was used to. His quiet humor and sarcastic comments were now more refined, and though he didn't have a haughty manner like the rest of his friends, he became selective in his company. This was perhaps due to the greatly surprising fact that the Marauders began spending almost all their free time in the library, poring over books thicker than even Lily dared to read, often seeking to use the Restricted Section as well. Here, the four boys tamed their usual raucous behavior and dedicatedly pored over pages and pages of miniscule words untiringly, and when Lily had offered her help to Remus, he had hidden the titles of the subject-matter and sent her away.

Fourteen, the age when the vast majority of the Hogwarts population began seeking romantic relationships, saw many boys asking the fiery redhead out to Hogsmeade. She politely declined, and from each of these encounters, began extracting techniques that would aid her in asking Remus out. She approached him timidly in the common room a week before Valentine's Day, almost shaking from anticipation, her head screaming, "Get a grip, girl!" She took care to enunciate each word carefully, afraid of her childhood stutter re-emerging. "Would you like to go to Hogsmeade with me?" she had asked him, and he had looked up, brows furrowed, handsome as ever. "As friends, right?" He had asked carefully, and Lily had replied, crestfallen, "As friends."

They had agreed to meet outside the village bookstore, their haven, and when the day came, Lily spent too much time worrying as her roommates helped her get ready. Marlene, the in-house fashion expert had helped her pick out a tight sleeveless top with black jeans, a look she had justified by explaining, "You want him to know that you're available without making it too obvious that you like him," a concept which would aghast Lily's mother, who strongly believed that fourteen-year old girls ought not to worry about such things.

Remus, upon seeing Lily, had furrowed his eyebrows as if figuring out a puzzle, and had remarked, "You look amazing," which to Lily came across as per functionary. They had spent the day in amiable discussion, each making the other laugh, and Lily's subtle attempts at flirtation had been pointedly brushed aside by Remus. Mid-way through their not-date, they had been intercepted by Remus's friends, Potter and his two lackeys, and Lily had excused herself when asked to join them for a butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks. Two weeks after this incident, Lily had caught Hestia Jones, a fifth-year Gryffindor, and Remus making out after dinner, and had promised herself that she would stop pining and do some dating of her own to show Remus that she didn't like him that way. Obviously.

Fifth-year saw a new Lily, going out with Suyash Patil, a handsome Ravenclaw in her year, and still hanging around with Remus in the library per their usual routine. Remus had grown taller still, and was beginning to show faint outlines of muscles through his uniform. Lily brought herself to ignore this. She had a boyfriend who she quite adored, one who was smart and handsome and funny, someone many girls envied her for having. Remus was merely a crush, a development of raging hormones.

To make matters worse, Potter, who had begun his childish proposals to her the year before was going all out and making extravagant gestures to ask her out despite her frequent reminders that she wasn't single, and would eat her shoe before even thinking of going out with a prat like him. Fifth-year, despite its great start, wasn't going all too well for Lily. Her friendships with the Gryffindor girls were under strain for they were against her meeting Severus, a Slytherin friend of her, who was becoming increasingly involved in the Dark Arts. Suyash, while good for a fun afternoon spent together, was terrible at listening to her problems without giving unwarranted advice, so that left her only one option. Remus would patiently listen to the various turmoils of the teenage witch's life, nodding at all the appropriate places, and insulting all the appropriate persons. He made her laugh quite frequently, and almost made her forget the new green symbol that was popping up in _The Daily Prophet _over various Muggle homes. They were seen revising together for the OWLs quite often, because as Remus put it, "My dorm room is full of animals and I can't concentrate around them," a statement on his friends that she for once agreed with.

She ended the year with a severed childhood friendship and fogging worries about her family's safety. Professor Dumbledore had agreed to place various protection spells around her family's house, the honor of being a beloved Prefect, and she returned back to Hogwarts with a desire to fight the prejudices and evils which were in abundance in the wizarding world.

On a Hogsmeade visit in October, the group of masked men and women who called themselves the Death Eaters had attacked the village, and she, along with some of the older students on the Bright side, had rushed the younger students to safety. Lily, adept at healing spells, had stayed back in the castle, helping Madame Pomphrey patch up the hurt students delivered to her. She had kept an eye out for a flash of sandy brown hair which belonged to Remus, and upon not finding any, she had begun to worry.

When he had finally emerged, covered in blood, and walking with a slight limp, she had pulled him forward by the front of his t-shirt and pressed her lips against his in a kiss he hadn't reciprocated. She had tried _so _hard to get a response from him, but he remained unmoved, adamant at his position of disinterest. "Lily, you have a boyfriend," he had reminded her, and she had wanted to tell him that she didn't, not anymore, but Remus had stopped her by continuing, "and you know James is half in love with you. I can't do this to him."

"Remus," she had breathed, heart hammering painfully against her ribcage. "I love you."

"And I love you too," he had replied, "but not in the way you want me to. Love is not an excuse, and sometimes we need to let things play out naturally to spare the feelings of all those involved."

She had laced his unresponsive fingers with hers and said, electricity dancing along her arms, "Don't you feel anything when I do this?" but he had given her a long look in response and she had understood, dragging him to the nearest bed and beginning to fix him up, avoiding his eyes in stoic silence.

"James is a great bloke, you know," he had said. "Give him a chance."

"Just like you gave us one, I suppose?" she had responded snottily, fire dancing in her eyes, and Remus had quieted. They had tried their best to never be alone in the same room after that, but fate was a cruel thing, and they found themselves doing Prefect duty together one Saturday night. Unable to bear the awkward silence, she had asked him, "Seeing someone, Remus?"

He had seemed surprised at the question and had recovered quickly, saying, "Yeah, someone in our year." She had gotten the hint and had swilled around to face him. "Look," she had said, digging deep into the well where she stored all her Gryffindor courage. "I am sorry for last week; promise I won't do it again. Back to friends?" She had stuck out her hand at this, and Remus had taken it tentatively, giving it a firm shake.

And so she danced on the stage of pretend, sneaking glances at him whenever she could and feeling her heart rate accelerate at the slightest touch. Sixth-year ended like this, and she was so high-strung on the protective illusion of the Hogwarts castle, she nearly forgot about the rampant despair outside. That summer was spent educating her family members on the various _do_s and _don't_s that came with being related to one of the brightest witches of her generation.

Seventh-year started with a general forlorn atmosphere, and James Potter being appointed Head Boy did not help. He had stopped his greatly embarrassing proposals, and had thankfully gotten over his infatuation with her. Lily, as Head Girl, had to spend an increasing amount of time alone with him, drawing out patrolling schedules and whatnot, and found his company surprisingly tolerable. His once-immature jokes often made her crack out a reluctant smile, and she couldn't help but see pieces of Remus in his mannerisms and psyche: like how he tucked his wand upon his ear when in concentration, that weird footwork he did when nervous, and how his humour greatly resembled that of a certain werewolf. It was these characters she seemed to like most about him, and acknowledging James as a possible ticket who could help her get over Remus, she asked him out one Hogsmeade afternoon.

James and Lily got married approximately two and a half years after this incident. Remus was there, right by his best friend's side grinning down at both of them. She had grown comfortable in his presence, more at peace than she was supposed to be at around him. It was those parts of Remus she saw in James that made her fall in love with him, but she grew to admire him for more. And maybe her heart was torn between these two men, one she could never have, one desperate to have her, living in perpetual agony over the rationale behind her decisions. But she knew this: James was lucky to get a previously unreciprocated love, more lucky than he would ever know.

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A/N: thank you so much for reading, and i really appreciate you finishing this story. this is for the following prompts/challenges for Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry (Challenges and Assignments):-

366 Prompts Challenge 24\. Behavior

IPC 620\. (emotion) Love

Writing Club-February  Lyric Alley 16. My head is screaming "Get a grip girl!"

Bex's Basement 8. "Love is not an excuse."

Assignment 4 Ancient Studies: Love Potion, Task #1 Write about unrequited love/infatuation

I have always found the Remus/Lily relationship to be so interesting (as a platonic relationship) but you can't argue that they would be an excellent couple. Apart from the plot, let me know in the reviews if you liked my style of writing+how you think I can improve.

DaisyFlowers


	2. Chapter 2

chapter 2: aftertaste

summary: it's valentine's day, and sirius can't find a moony.

Sirius had a problem. A major, time-stopping problem, one that made him stop extracting enjoyment from the pink frills in Madam Puddifoot's and start worrying. Sirius never worried. At least, Sirius never worried except when it came to that bastard brother of his, and Remus.

Remus had taken the Marauders' Map with him and receded somewhere in the castle, intent on avoiding the giggling hordes of teenage witches and wizards alike. And this was indeed a problem for Sirius because Moony was far too funny to be so serious so often, and he wanted his friend to enjoy himself. He would _make _his friend enjoy himself. Forcefully, if it came to that.

Keeping this motive in mind, he made his lonesome way back to Hogwarts, and began his search. He checked behind portrait-holes and tapestries, in shady alcoves and behind statues. Moony, fastest and most lithe out of all his friends, was an excellent hider, but Sirius was an excellent seeker. Making sure there was nobody watching him, he changed to Padfoot, holding his nose high in the air for Remus's scent. Upon finding it, he followed it until he reached a half-hidden boy reading a book perched on a wide windowsill.

He changed back to human form and gently prodded Remus, who didn't seem the slightest bit surprised at the sight of his friend. Instead, he sighed, saying, "I was hoping you wouldn't find me here."

"And why is that, dear sir?" Sirius replied. Extracting a pink cupid heart from his pocket, he waved it in front of Remus. "Do these crepe paper cut-outs scare thee?"

Remus rolled his eyes. "It's Valentine's Day," he said, like it was explanation enough.

"So? One would think you'd enjoy the attention, seeing how popular you are with the ladies." The sun glinted on a small smudge of matte rouge on Remus's cheek. Sirius smirked, raising his eyebrows. "And who was it you were snogging?"

Remus cringed and reached self-consciously to wipe the offender off. "Thought I'd removed all of it. Besides, it's you and James who are popular with the ladies, don't drag my name in for useless flattery."

"Why didn't you come with us to Hogsmeade?" Sirius persisted.

"Sorry, I thought I was implicit in my disgust of that dastardly thing you're holding in front of my face. Also, I don't particularly enjoy watching you exchange saliva with any moving thing that's below fifty and female. It's not really my taste."

Sirius brought his hands near Remus's face and wiggled his fingers. "Are you saying you'd rather watch me exchange saliva with 'any moving thing that's below fifty and _male_', because if you are, I'd have to reject. That's not really _my _taste."

Remus released a long-drawn breath of suffering but a small smile broke across his face nevertheless. "Well, don't knock it until you've tried it." He turned and began packing his things, quite unaware of the confusion of the man behind him

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Remus paused, realizing what he had said. "What? Oh, uh, nothing. Yeah. There's nowhere I was going with that, it was just a statement of sorts."

"No, I think you meant more."

"I didn't— it's not like—what?" Remus paused, choosing his words carefully. "Uh, see, I like you. Like, _like _you. And I know it's bloody _gay_, as if there's not enough wrong with me already. And maybe it's my imagination, but we're different than the other guys. Not _different_, you know, but _different._ And not like it's a bad thin—"

"You're rambling," said Sirius, half-amused, half-surprised.

"Well," began Remus but stopped abruptly. There seemed to be an acute shortage of words in that instance, and as Remus stood there, berating himself for opening his mouth in the first place, Sirius spoke up contemplatively. "Your theory, let's give it a try."

"Really? 'Don't knock it until you've tried it?' You're not joking?"

Sirius shook his head and pulled him closer by the front of his robes. He was staring at Remus's lips, examining them maybe, an action that would look attractive only on someone like Sirius, thought Remus. His throat was dry and his senses, keen so close to the full moon, had gone overboard. All there seemed to be was Sirius. Sirius's lavender shampoo he insisted wasn't girly, the intermingling smell of dog and boy, the smell of testosterone, the sound of Sirius's heart beating _thud thud thud, _almost as fast as Remus's.

"Shall we?" Remus spoke, possibly the most un-romantic words you could say before a kiss to an annoyingly good-looking lad who happened to be your best friend and the bloke you'd harboured a secret crush on for ages. Sirius nodded.

The kiss was… unexpected. Remus had prepared himself for a torrent of butterflies and an accelerated heart rate, and pure, unadulterated euphoria, but got none of that. It was different, it was perfect. He felt the oddest sort of sensation pass through him, like a Calming Draught was dripping down his body. It was truly magical, a temporary intimacy between two strong wizards, and he felt like he was rising above the ground, floating, drowning, Sirius's lips acting as a buoy. And as he brought Sirius's hand to rest on his waist and threaded his own through Sirius's hair, he heard the faint sound of an orchestra playing a symphony of love, the music reverberating till the tips of his toes, sending shivers of pleasure through him.

Too soon, Sirius pulled away, eyes glazed and lips red. "Whoa," he remarked knowledgeably, voice hoarse. Remus didn't say anything, not trusting himself to have articulate control over his vocal chords. Sirius chuckled in wonder. "How are you right about bloody everything?" he murmured.

"What d'you mean?"

"I mean, I've never felt that way before. Have you? I thought those romance novel descriptions were complete bullshit."

Remus gaped. "_You've _read romance novels? Talk about things I can't picture."

Suddenly, Sirius was pulling him in again, lips moving expertly, gently, unyielding. His tongue was inside Remus's mouth and then it wasn't, his hands were on Remus's cheek, neck, waist, and then they weren't. He was everywhere, moving, exploring, pleasuring. It was _perfect_ and Remus would have melted into a puddle made of pure fluff right there if he wasn't holding on to Sirius.

"Stop, stop, stop," he said breaking away. "This isn't a one-time thing. This is real, and real scares the crap out of you."

"So does Minnie, but that doesn't make me stop flirting with her, does it? I like you Remus, like, _like _like you. Maybe I always have, but you know how oblivious I am half the time." Sirius paused, appearing to go over a few things. "Hell, I might even be in love with you. I mean, I can live without thinking about Prongs and Wormtail for hours at a time, and probably enjoy myself at it. I can't last five minutes without you popping into my head. _And_ you've got a cute arse," he added, almost as an afterthought.

"Oh?" was all Remus seemed to be capable of saying, and before he think of anything else, Sirius asked, "Now that we're going to be snogging regularly, and you might as well call me your boyfriend, it is well within my right to ask who that lipstick on your cheek belongs to."

"A handsy fourth-year Ravenclaw," Remus replied, smiling down at Sirius. "Some kids have put up mistletoe around the castle like it's Christmas, not just fricking Valentine's Day, bloody immature—"

"—Really?" interrupted Sirius joyously, pulling a grinning Remus along in pursuit of some inappropriately hung decorations, Remus's bookbag and the frilly crepe paper heart forgotten behind.

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A/N: ahhh, wolfstar! i usually write only prose and poetry, and this is the first time i've used so much dialogue in a piece. and i've never written romance. critique me please!

Written for the following prompts at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry (Challenges and Assignments) forum:-

366 Prompts Challenge: 195. Love

Insane Prompt Challenge: 68. (word) Symphony

Writing Club- February: 1. Marvel Appreciation: 14. (dialogue) "Sorry, I thought I was implicit in my disgust."

2\. Film Festival: 6. (plot point) first kiss

3\. Bex's Basement: 25. "This is real, and real scares the crap out of you."

Assignment #4: Forestry: Famous Forests, Task #1: write about someone in the LGBTQplus community

again, i admire you for reading what i've written, and i appreciate it. thank you!

also, i'm having trouble with italicizing words, which often makes a few paragraphs lose their character. i haven't used in ages, please help!

DaisyFlowers


	3. Chapter 3

chapter 3: presumption

summary: james potter celebrates his birthday. well, james potter _attempts _to celebrate his birthday.

27th March, 1976

The day had begun on a high note, his three roommates waking James Potter up with presents and enthusiasm at the Quidditch match that would soon take place. This festive atmosphere had persisted all morning, and it couldn't be dampened by even the nerves his teammates were showing. Sirius, Remus and Peter had bid James good luck with back thumps and thumbs ups, and James was more than confident of the outcome of his first final as team captain.

It was not until Ravenclaw were 230-70 up that James accepted the reality of the situation. He was going to lose a match he and his team had prepared well for… on his birthday. Their seeker, Matilda Vane was, at best, average, and the Ravenclaws had developed a new strategy, one that made sure that the three Gryffindor Chasers were nowhere near each other for effective passing of the Quaffle. The Gryffindor Beaters were trying their best at unseating Ravenclaws but the Bludger barely came in their vicinity of its targets when it was sent back, courtesy of the Ravenclaw Beaters.

When the Ravenclaw Seeker, Suyash Patil caught the Snitch, Gryffindor had had their worst defeat in over 200 years, and the team trudged, shoulders slumped into the changing room. James addressed his team, "Look, if there's a prize for rotten judgement, I guess I've already won that. I got a little big-headed and didn't anticipate that a bunch of nerds would play this well. I'm sorry I let you down."

At this, his team had murmured weak "hear, hears," and some had tried to console him saying that they shared equal responsibility for the loss. James had brushed them off and had returned to his dormitory to sulk, where he was greeted by his best friends.

"Go away," he had sighed depressedly, flopping down on the bed.

"Are you sure?" had come the reply.

"Umpf," James answered, and at the sound of receding footsteps, turned around and glared at the door. "Merlin, I didn't really mean that, you poofs!"

Three grinning faces greeted him. "We know," remarked Remus, and Sirius added, "And they call _me _the drama queen."

Remus raised an eyebrow. "Was it James who started singing 'The End of the World' in the Common Room after Marlene McKinnon refused to go on a date with him?"

"Noted," muttered Sirius. "Okay, what shall we do? Maybe Remus can start reading us his Transfiguration notes. _That'll _cheer James up for sure."

"I'd rather go through the entire morning again than deal with that," said James quite somberly.

"You weren't that bad," said Peter.

"Yes, he was," said Sirius quickly. "Besides, it's your birthday. I'd say 'Cheer up," but that'd be stretching it too tight, so stop wallowing in self-pity for a moment and see this."

He extracted a piece of parchment from his trunk and handed it to James. James took it and turned it over, raising a single eyebrow at Sirius, who was looking expectantly at him. "Gee, a blank piece of parchment. Definitely at the top of my list of best birthday presents."

"Look at this," said Peter excitedly, tapping his wand on the parchment. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

Suddenly, inky lines began spreading from where Peter's wand touched the paper, and James gasped in surprise. "Moony, you genius! However did you manage to do this?"

Remus scratched the back to his head looking embarrassed. "Uh, just a Concealment charm I modified. Sirius and Pete helped."

"Don't be modest," said Sirius helping himself to some Chocolate Frogs James had received. He stopped, blanching at the sight of the paper that lay below the sweets. "Did any of you complete that three-foot paper on Gamp's Laws for McGonagall?"

"No," said Peter.

"Shit," said Remus.

"It's due tomorrow!" moaned James.

"Well, we'd better start," said Sirius, swallowing, a picture of the stern Transfiguration Professor popping in his mind. "Though we're already doomed."

The four boys reluctantly sat down to work, James periodically muttering things like "Best birthday ever" and "My life sucks" and "Just when nothing could go wrong." Remus, well-versed in the theory, finished first, despite having the smallest handwriting out of all of them. "Here, let me help," he said, offering his paper to James, who accepted it thankfully.

It was past ten in the night when the whole group finished, and they decided to sneak into the kitchens for a birthday cake they had asked the elves to bake for James. They made sure to walk carefully, James, Sirius and Remus huddled uncomfortably under the invisibility cloak, and Peter in rat form. Upon seeing the Quidditch-arena shaped cake, James stalled. Seeing his expression, Remus hurried to explain. "We thought you'd win the match—we asked for it yesterday, so we didn't know."

"Sorry, mate," said Sirius clapping him on the back.

James dejectedly cut the cake, a half-smile on his face. But as the four boys celebrated in the kitchen, laughing, chatting, and teasing each other, he felt a weight lift off his shoulders. This rhythm had been set over the course of five years, and his familiarity with it relaxed James. The four boys thanked the elves and made their way up, forgoing the cover of the invisibility cloak as they made their way around the castle, still eating the leftover cake. They decided to sneak into Hogsmeade to get some butterbeer, and upon its procurement, headed towards the old Transfiguration classroom to further the celebrations. James opened the door, laughing at a joke Remus had said ("Stag night, isn't it?{1)"), but stopped, the smile slipping off his face at the sight in front of him.

Lily Evans, one-sided love of his life and wishful future wife, was playing a wrestling match with Suyash Patil using just her lips. He had his hands on the curve of her hips, and his own shirt was half-unbuttoned. Her red hair had mostly escaped from her ponytail, and a clear bulge was visible on the front of Suyash's pants, close to where Lily was perched.

James dropped the butterbeer, alerting the couple of his presence. "Just what do you think you're doing!" he exclaimed, "fraternizing with the enemy!"

"None of your business, Potter," she said in the clipped manner she assumed when talking to him, as though she were talking to a particularly nosy child. Cheeks tinted red, she grabbed her boyfriend's hand and pulled him along, possibly to find another place to continue their 'fraternizing', as James put it, smiling at Remus as she passed.

"Reparo," murmured Remus, and the now empty glass bottles mended themselves and disappeared with a wave of his wand. "(cleaning spell)"

"That's just one chick, mate," said Peter consolingly. "Plenty more fish in the sea."

"And there are more outside Hogwarts too," added Sirius, resuming the usual routine when such a scenario occurred. "You have years to—"

"STUDENTS OUT OF BED! STUDENTS OUT OF BED! STUDENTS OUT OF—" Screeched the half-rabid caretaker Filch, and appeared out of their classroom before they had a chance to get under the cover of the Cloak. Through the corner of his eye, James saw a rat scurry off, and as Filch herded the three of them towards his office, he couldn't help but feel a bit resentful towards his friend for abandoning them.

They were let off with a promise of complaint to McGonagall the first thing in the morning and detention every night for a week. The day could not have gotten any worse for James, and when the school clock chimed midnight, he exhaled a sigh of relief.

"That's the end of my bad luck," he said happily walking backwards to face Remus and Sirius. "That's the end of my—"

He barely had time to register the panicked expressions of his friends when he felt himself slipping. "Wingardium Leviosa!" shouted Sirius, depositing James at the base of the steps.

"Never mind," said James. "Well, after this I should think nothing of falling down stairs."

And he walked off, dusting non-existent dirt off his shirt, ignoring the giggles of his companions

A/N: Clarification for {1} 'Stag night', North America, means 'a party attended only for men' so let's please pretend for the sake of that one joke that that is how the characters would have said it irl.

For the following prompts at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry (Challenges and Assignments):-

Insane Prompt Challenge: 810. (restriction) Only Marauder Era characters

366 Prompts Challenge: 293. Stern

Writing Club-February: 1. Disney Magic: A Very Merry Unbirthday: Write about someone having a bad birthday.

2\. Disney Magic: Dialogue: "Well, after this I should think nothing of falling down stairs."

3\. Lyric Alley: 1. If there's a prize for rotten judgement, I guess I've already won that.

4\. Scamander's Case: (action) flying

Assignment #4: Beauty Therapy: Body Modifications Task #12- Tooth Knocking: Write about someone losing something (James lost the Quidditch match)


	4. Chapter 4

chapter 4: persuasion

summary: the summer before fifth year, sirius black proves many things to himself, and to others, and teaches his brother a very important lesson in determination.

~oOo~

Summer, 1975

There was someone who came to his door every night.

When they were kids, his younger brother would, after bidding their parents good night, knock on his door. The knock was never confident—it was instead timid, though there was never a time he didn't open. During these times, they did everything they weren't allowed to or couldn't do during daytime. The surrounding air suddenly became less stuffy and suffocating, and they could joke and laugh, even if only for a few hours every night.

But they weren't kids anymore, and Sirius couldn't remember the last time he had seen Regulus smile all the way to the eyes. So, when he heard the door rap so quietly that he could have imagined it, he didn't answer it.

"Go to sleep, Reg," he said instead.

~oOo~

His mother thrust the newspaper angrily at him.

"You see this, don't you? Vermin infiltrating our precious society, the Sacred Twenty-Eight dying out… what have you to say to this? Filthy Mudbloods and other scum… spreading and spreading and spreading." She stepped closer to him, a feral look of unhinged madness in her eyes. "Accept our words, Sirius! We can't make excuses for you any more, you will be of age in a couple of years. We have put aside your naivete before, but you must realise—or I shall make you."

Sirius didn't reply, found out he couldn't. He knew what would come, was surprised it had taken so long to reach him.

His mother stepped closer still and took his chin in her hands, roughly yanking his face upwards so that he looked her right in the eye. "I will not have this anymore. You are foolish. You refuse to see what's going on right under your nose, and you associate with such _filth._" She had then turned away, and seemingly without realising that there was someone else in the room with her, had began muttering to herself. "Must make him realise, must make him realise, must make him realise, _must."_

That had been nearly a month ago. Or it seemed a month to Sirius, at least, because he had lost track of time. If anybody had asked him to speak on this—the concept of losing time—before the holidays started, he would have openly laughed. _Losing track of time—_ha! It would have seemed silly to him, for he was brought up in a proper pureblood household, and much as he despised it, he had the mannerisms and habits of what his parents would call 'a proper gentleman'. Time was a stable concept; it had been like that all his life, and he took it for given that it would be the same way in the future as well. But it hadn't. He didn't know how long it had been since that first conversation with his mother, but somehow, along the way, he had lost his sense of routine; the sense of stability he didn't realise he relied upon so heavily was gone.

He supposed he could count the number of days by how many times his brother had knocked on his door, or by how many times he had been called into the small room next to his mother's quarters. When it all first started, he had tried. But he couldn't. Much had stopped appealing to him in that timeframe. He was not human—_couldn't _be, not while he felt like this—he was instead one of those mechanical devices Remus talked about, set to a particular routine and task.

Everything revolved around the Thing. Nobody talked about it, and Sirius supposed the necessary arrangements for it were made in hushed tones between his mother and the insipid elves. It happened before dinner. Every night, the Thing happened before dinner, but Sirius never ate anything until the morning after It happened.

His mother would send down her favourite elf, that old loony Kreacher, who would have a revolting look of sick pleasure in his big, round eyes at being able to come and deliver the exciting summons himself. Sirius would follow, ever servile in this matter, each step dragging slowly and painfully, feeling last night's _lesson_ etched into his skin, and feeling the weight of a new patch of empty skin for a new one. His mother would be waiting for him every night, chin turned up and face impassive, as she watched her eldest son stand as close to the entrance (and only exit) of the room as he could, tall and rigid, but forever unmoving.

She would use only her wand—what else would she have needed anyway, what with all the power she could have wished for at her disposal—and just before It happened, she would brandish it, making a show of dusting imaginary dust particles and polishing already shining patches. She would look up at him just then, and whisper, "Do you accept?" and Sirius would slowly shake his head. His 'no' would hang between mother and son like a chasm, and as his mother's eyes would set ablaze, her wand arm would rise and then it would be brought down with surprising force as Sirius would feel a red slash appear on his chest as if from an invisible sword. She would continue this, until he would be crouching in a pool of his own blood, red and glistening, and she would ask him one final time, "Do you accept?" He would stutter out a 'no' with whatever dignity he had left as he was weeping on the floor, and she would nod resolutely, saying, "Very well," before exiting the room.

She never directly said it but Sirius knew he had to go to his bedroom after the Thing. He was not welcome in the dining room. He was not welcome to roam the hallways, to explore the multiple upper bedrooms, or to find an isolated part of the house and cry, letting it all go. He was not welcome, he was not welcome, he was not welcome. Most of all, he was not welcome to have communication outside the house, and communication inside the house was difficult as it was because of his and his parents' differing beliefs.

One thing struck him as odd—he didn't cry. Rather, he didn't cry at being hit _after_ it had already been done, but he did cry later, but not about that. He supposed it was like a Tsunami, as Remus had taught them one day, the water receding and receding only for it to come crashing down with mighty force. Likewise, Sirius withdrew from his surroundings, and this build up inside him intensified and only just kept intensifying until he let it all out every day.

Then he would wait listlessly, sprawled on his bed, for the usual knock on the door. It was now per functionary—he would hear the slow rapping, would let a moment or two of pulsating silence pass before saying again, "Go to sleep, Reg," and would feel his eyes close as the footsteps receded to the room further up.

~oOo~

Pain. Hot, red, blazing _pain._

A point had passed wherein Sirius was confused if this was actually pain or just his raw, bloody, open flesh stinging at contact with the surrounding air. But it didn't matter.

His vision blurred, half with tears, half because his head was spinning and he was losing consciousness, and all parts of his body throbbed with pain, pain, _pain._

The last thing he saw before going out were large, bat-like ears and the sensation of his broken skin stretching again.

~oOo~

Sirius stood in front of a mirror staring at the marks on his chest.

They'd be there for life, he knew. And when he'd get to Hogwarts his friends would ask. He couldn't go complaining to authorities, as all authorities ultimately led to some distant or not-so-distant relation to this, and this line ended only with his father, and then his mother. He was completely, utterly, irrevocably trapped, and he knew he wasn't willing for this to endlessly continue. He had a breaking point, and it was fast approaching.

In the mirror, he saw his brother entering the room. He stood resolutely near the door, strong and firm. The _golden child._ _He_ didn't stumble while walking because of how much blood he was losing every day, _he _wasn't forced to endure the sneers and unfriendly looks of all the people he had spent his first eleven years of life with, _he _wasn't going to get disowned very soon and probably lose all his inheritance. _His _body didn't ache at every step he took. Sirius didn't acknowledge him.

Then came his voice, more petulant than he'd ever heard it— "Would it kill you to say 'yes' only once?"

There was a long pause where no one spoke. Then Sirius said, his voice cracking, "You wouldn't understand."

"No. But I want to," whispered his brother.

Sighing, Sirius went and sat down on his bed and after a beat or two, Regulus came and sat down beside him as well, rather unsurely. "It's like this: my whole identity is based on being the rebel, or not following what my family believes in. For something smaller, I would have let that go. But this isn't that. This isn't small. It's important. Saying 'yes' to Walburga would mean that I am betraying myself, and I can't have that."

Regulus nodded his head beside him. Sirius turned to face his brother, his eyes hardening with the intensity of what he was about to say next. "Reg, these people have done nothing wrong. Some of the best people I know are muggle-born or half-bloods. My 'yes' is an oath; I will be held to it. There is going to be a war, and I'm going to be fighting on the side opposite our parents. This blood supremacy thing is absolute bullshit, and I hope the day comes when you realize that."

Regulus nodded. "I understand."

Sirius shook his head. He didn't.

~oOo~

That was it. Sirius knew this was the end, he'd die there, bleeding on the expensive hardwood floors. His mother had been angrier than ever before, and no elves had come to fetch him when she was done.

He could feel his heart pumping out blood slower and slower each second; everything seemed dizzyingly amplified to him. Consciousness was slipping, and the black spots before his eyes had completely taken over. This was the end.

He felt a pair of hands grasping him from under the armpits and pulling him along with surprising force. Had his mother come back? But his mother didn't have hand so large…

"Reg," he breathed, his voice rattling.

"Hold on, Sirius, you're losing too much blood—" Regulus whispered a few incantations, and suddenly the world stopped spinning so much, and much of the stinging sensation vanished. "Here, stand up carefully."

He tried to, but found that he couldn't. As he wobbled on the spot, Regulus cast worried looks on both sides of the narrow corridor. "Quick, they're still having dinner…"

Regulus took Sirius's arm and slung it around his neck, and supported his brother with his other arm around his waist. Carefully, he pulled Sirius along, till they were standing in Regulus's room. He pulled Sirius further along, and suddenly, they were standing in front of the fireplace. Regulus thrust some floo powder into Sirius's hand urgently. "Go."

Sirius didn't move. Regulus pushed him forward. "What're you waiting for? Go!"

Sirius stared blankly at him. "Where?"

Regulus released an angry breath. "Don't you have friends? The Potters, The Vanes—I don't care—go, Sirius!"

"Thank you," he said, staring at his brother as if with new eyes.

"Thank me when you're out of here. See you at school, Brother."

Sirius didn't need to be told twice. He threw the powder into the fire and screaming, "Potter Manor!" stepped into the fireplace as flames engulfed him.

~oOo~

Word count: 1995 words

For the following prompts at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry (Challenges and Assignments):-

Assignment #7: **Task #11 - Megamouth Shark:** Write about not believing that something is true.

365 Prompt Challenge: 5. Ache

Insane Prompt List 2020: 16. (word) Timid


	5. Chapter 5

chapter 5

summary: remus attends pride, sirius discovers glitter, and remus recalls a memory.

~oOo~

Summer, 1976

Sirius,

One part of me wants to believe that I have nothing to say in response to your last letter. Nothing at all. That it goes far beyond the level of comprehension I am able to muster at this godforsaken hour, and I am sorry to say that I do not understand what prompted you to do what you did, but still not as sorry as I am at the realization that I am dating a complete idiot.

The other part of me, however, is howling (geddit?) in amazement. Glitter? Balloons? Mrs. Potter chasing you around the house yelling obscenities? That is quite possibly the most hilarious thing I have heard all week, and I have been thinking about it since I got your letter, desperately wishing that I was there as well.

Everything's alright here, I tend to sleep during the day and stay awake at night, which is definitely going to pose a problem for me once school starts. Read a couple of books I can't wait to tell you about. Went to the nearby village. Ran a couple of chores. Went to a pride parade?

Yes, yes, I am sorry—I know you wanted to come with, but my father was away and the house was just a bit too suffocating, so I sneaked out after my mother went to bed. To say she was angry when I got back would be quite the understatement; I am grounded until we have to go to London for school supplies. (It honestly won't be much of a change from my current lifestyle, anyway). I took a lot of photos. I missed you. But mostly I stayed at the side-lines, it was just a bit overwhelming seeing people so freely express themselves when I still can't. It felt oddly liberating embracing this side of me I had shunned for so long, it felt almost like catharsis, but somehow better. I feel free.

I met this girl; you'd really like her! Her name is Lynn, I've enclosed an image she forced me to take after I told her I came here without you. Overall, it was a great experience, and I can definitely see why there's so much hype to it. We'll go together next year, for sure.

I'm: sorry and missing you,

Moony

~oOo~

Moon of my eye,

Holy shit! You went to pride! You went to pride you went to pride you went to pride you went to pride you went to pride you went to pride! Definitely not pissed about you going without me, was really jumping with excitement when I read your letter. James was a bit suspicious; he reckons I have a bird somewhere and that's who I've been writing to all summer. Are you a bird, Remus, huh? You could definitely show me your—aaaand you rolled your eyes! I enjoy getting a rise out of you even when I haven't seen you for three weeks (which is far too long. You must make plans to come here).

Don't apologize! I'm glad you went—does this mean we'll be able to tell James about us soon? You don't have to say yes, though, I want you to be truly comfortable before we take that step. Also, did you really think that one measly paragraph will be enough for me? I want to know everything. How were the people? Did you buy anything? What did you wear? What were others wearing? That photo of you was truly adorable. I am envious, but I am also quite proud of the fact that you were able to do that alone.

And oh, that glitter spectacle was beyond remarkable. You needed to be there to witness the sheer glory; it's almost been a week since it happened and Mrs. Potter swears she still washes out glitter from her hair. It was hilarious. Prongs cannot go two minutes without making a joke, and Mr. Potter does all that he can to support him on that truly pointless endeavour. Subtly. Or as subtle a Potter can get, anyway.

With lots of (puppy) kisses,

Padfoot

~oOo~

Sirius,

I had the greatest dream last night. I'll tell you all about it if you open the window right about now.

Surprise!

Moony

~oOo~

"Remus! What're you doing?"

"Well, what does it seem like?"

"Shut up! Tell me what—"

"There's no time. Come, climb out, we'll jump down."

Sirius flashed him a grin Remus had filed away as his 'trouble-making- face, but in that moment, it looked no more than an expression of the purest joy. He readily accepted Remus's outstretched arm and carefully climbed out of the window, and then without warning, he jumped onto the grass below, effectively dragging Remus down with him as well.

The boys landed on their feet, but eventually their knees buckled, and they fell upon the grass together, a tangled mess of smiles and limbs. "You really didn't have to come."

Smiling shyly, Remus said, "Yes I did. Now shut up so this can be a Romantic Moment. You like Romantic Moments, don't you? So, listen," Getting up, he pulled Sirius with him, turning him so that they both faced the sky. "I dreamt of a memory last night. It went like this: Three years ago, I wished upon a star. I wished for a boy more animal than he is human—" Remus paused as Sirius choked out a laugh. "A boy who cares so much about things but doesn't like to express it, a boy who loves hugs and is not ashamed of it, a boy who apparently slept in tight leather pants yesterday night." Sirius looked down, and opened his mouth to speak but Remus cut him off. "And it came true," he whispered, pointing towards diamonds falling from the night sky.

"Remus…"

"Shh, praise me later. Now close your eyes and make a wish."

As the last star fell, Remus turned to Sirius. "This is going to be that horribly cliché moment when I ask you what you wished for and you say—"

"You. I wished for you. For us. Years together."

"You're so predictable, Black. A bit softie. Who knew," said Remus, grinning.

"Sod off, Lupin," he replied. But there was no venom in his words, and as the two boys fell asleep right where they stood only moments before, they kept this memory in a gilded frame, and during talks of glitter and mock punishments, they shared a secret smile that conveyed what words could not hope to reach.

~oOo~

Word count: 1089

For the following prompts at QLFC's first round of the eight season:

Chaser 3: The Explorer- Goal: freedom

(quote) "The excitement of dreams coming true is beyond the description of words."- Lailah Gifty Akita

(word) glitter

(object) love letter

For the following prompts at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry (Challenges and Assignments):

**Assignment 7, Task #9 - White Shark:** Write about someone who appears to be mean, but is really a big softy.

366 words prompt: 94. experience

Insane Prompt Challenge: 163 (action) writing a letter


	6. Chapter 6

chapter 6: what i wouldn't give

summary: orion has something to ask of regulus, but regulus has denied himself for very long.

1978

If there was one thing Regulus Black had been trained to recognize since he was born, it was to know when to stop. Miraculous second child to his parents who had struggled for years to birth an heir, he was an unexpected, unplanned-for member of their family, and all his going-ons were excused as long as he maintained one golden rule: he was not to interfere with his brother.

His brother, raucous, carefree Sirius Black, who had once been admired for those very qualities, and was now alienated from his family because of them. He, according to everyone who knew him and the Blacks, was everything the House perpetuated- carelessly exemplary, nonchalantly polished, and effortlessly suave. It was only the fact that he was sorted in the wrong Hogwarts house and his views on blood purity that made him a bad example for all the young Black kids.

It was no surprise to anyone in the extended family when Sirius was disowned. It had always been a question of when and never if, how far Walburga and Orion were willing to tolerate his insolence. Suddenly, every eye in the House was on Regulus. He went from being 'Orion's other child' to Orion's only child. It was a tough transition, what with every eye lingering on him just a minute longer, relatives engaging in more two-sided communication with him than ever before, and continuous questions about his performance, academic and otherwise.

Regulus knew that he checked every box that was required of him: he was at the top in class in most subjects, was Seeker in the Slytherin Quidditch team, and participated in more extra-curricular clubs than he cared to count. Nevertheless, he overheard multiple jibes directed at his parents- "The other son fits the same credentials as that blood-traitor Sirius, so no loss there, I'm sure"- and though his hand itched to hold his wand at the throat of whoever passed such comments, he steeled himself, convincing himself that it wasn't the worst he had faced at the hands of his family.

He knew that this behaviour of their relatives hadn't passed the notice of both his parents, and that it would not be long before he was summoned to his father's study to discuss how to approach the issue in a tactical manner. Well. Not discuss- more like carrying out whatever his parents deemed appropriate, but that was an approach he had abided by all his life and had no problem continuing with.

His suspicions were right, for two days before he was to leave for his fifth year at Hogwarts, his father, placing a hand on his shoulder, veered him to the spacious room adjacent to the dining room, and closing the door behind him, said, "Sit."

Regulus sat in one of the plush but not quite comfortable armchairs characteristic to the Black household, as his father occupied the greater and somehow more imposing chair directly opposite him. His father commanded respect but it was fear that Regulus gave him. "Over the past year, there has been no end to how our relatives have ridiculed us. Our family is more than the loss of one insolent boy, and it is time that you step out of his shadow." His father's eyes softened infinitesimally, and as he continued to speak, he maintained searing eye contact with Regulus. "Don't think I don't know about your capabilities. They are beyond what you allow others to see, but it's time to drop that veil. We are the Blacks, purest of the Sacred Twenty-Eight, as you are well aware, and this is our legacy. Your legacy. We are born and brought up to stand out, and your time to shine has arrived.

"This year, don't restrain. There will be no more holding back on your part. You are bigger and better than your brother, and you must show him that. This time next year, the only son's name I should be hearing should be yours, and I will hear no excuses. You will not disappoint me. The consequences shall be severe. Go."

Nodding his head jerkily, Regulus left the room, and it was only when he had reached the northernmost corridor of the house that he collapsed against its walls, his breathing shaky.

~oOo~

September the first was within his grasp quicker than he could have imagined, and Regulus was dreading it more and more with each second that passed. 'Stepping out of his brother's shadow' was a subject he had devoted extensive time thinking and contemplating over. Multiple attempts to tear himself from that notion had been vastly unsuccessful, and it was with resignation that he believed he was content where he currently stood.

Regulus knew of his capabilities, that they superseded those of his batchmates, and even upperclassmen by a considerable margin. But he also knew that at the cusp of war, it was advantageous to be underestimated. Despite this, the fact was that he was among the most brilliant students Hogwarts had seen, and that was counting even his brother. There were not a lot of ways he could give his father what he so desired, and though one option lay clearly before him, he was not sure if it would be satisfactory.

So the thoughts churned inside his head, and he scarcely noticed the wide berth and curious stares people gave him as he made his way to the Great Hall. As he plonked his bag on the bench and sat down (gracefully, of course), Barty Crouch Jr. up to him.

"Crouch," Regulus greeted him, half-distracted.

"Black. Here's a little heads-up. Your brother's playing as Seeker in the upcoming match. The idiot Davis got into a fight, and they couldn't-"

Regulus's slight eyebrow raise was the only indication that this information surprised him, but inwards, a plan had come into place. "That will be all, Crouch."

Crouch narrowed his eyes and opened his mouth to retort, but Regulus was already moving away.

~oOo~

Gameday was upon him in no time, and Regulus was wholly prepared. The Slytherin changing room was silent as everyone fought their own mental battles, and only a couple of lines were exchanged before they emerged onto the field amongst cheers.

"Gentlemen, what is your intent?" their captain had asked.

"To win," they had replied without hesitation.

As both teams assumed position on the pitch, the two brothers faced each other. Sirius's eyes were steely grey, and their mirror image was reflected in Regulus's eyes as well. Just as he gave Regulus one of his characteristic smirks, saying, "Well then, Reg, good luck," Madame Hooch blew her whistle, and a flurry of bodies streaked green and red rushed past him.

It seemed that Sirius, as Beater, avoided directing the Bludger Regulus's way, and he only had to deal with half of what the other players did. This time, the Beater replacing Sirius showed no mercy; Regulus spent equal time dodging the Bludger as he did searching for the Snitch. He was able to catch only snippets of the commentary, but from what he heard, he needed to catch the Snitch soon, or Slytherin would lose all hopes of winning the Cup.

"Aaaand Potter scores yet again! Gryffindor at hundred seventy, Slytherin at- Black's spotted the Snitch! There he-"

Regulus whirred around in surprise, and indeed, Sirius was chasing the Snitch, one arm outstretched. Shaking his head, Regulus urged his broom to go faster, stretched himself until he was wrapped securely around his it, and launched off in the Snitch's direction.

Sirius was scarcely any distance in front of him, two feet, tops… one foot... half a foot... and now they were together, shoulders brushing. Regulus pushed further and further still, he was getting ahead, a couple inches more… Suddenly, he was yanked off his broom and he lay upon soft grass.

A whistle blew. Madame Hooch strode angrily towards him, and helping him up, she indicated that Sirius dismount his broom. As twelve other figures landed on the ground next to him, Madame Hooch spoke, her voice resounding in the stadium. "A foul conducted by Black there- the older Black, that is. Slytherin will get three penalty shots. Get ready!" She blew her whistle again, and they took off, Sirius averting his eyes at the admonishing look Madame Hooch snet him.

Slytherin weren't able to score in a single one of the penalties they had gotten, and while the Gryffindors didn't bother to hide their smirks behind their hands, Regulus got back to his search for the Snitch. He kept going around in random patterns too, to avoid any bludgers directed his way, to- he spotted the Snitch. It was near Sirius's calf, and Sirius himself was oblivious, sharing some sort of joke with his friend Potter, and as Regulus charged forward, he heard a huge cheer that meant that Gryffindor scored another time-

Sirius's eyes widened as he saw his brother coming barrelling towards him, but he did not move, Regulus stretched out his hand, bracing himself for the impact, Sirius's expression changed, realizing what was going on, he swivelled his head around and spotted the Snitch, outstretched his hand-

The brothers collided. Regulus rolled onto soft grass once again, and hit his head against the hard bone of his brother's hip. As Sirius groaned in frustration, Regulus smiled, lifting his hand up towards the sky, showing off the Golden Snitch. For a moment, there was silence, and then noise so loud Regulus could hear it rattling in his skull, his teammates were descending, patting him on his back, shaking his hand; his brother was walking away, his mates patting his arm in consolation. But at this moment, he felt neither happy, nor sad, only plain, tentative relief.

His father's image unfolded in front of his mind's eye, and he imagined the firm nod of his head once he got the news, and Regulus grinned at the assurance that yes, he was as good as, and maybe even more, than his brother.

~oOo~

word count: 1668

For the following prompts at the QLFC:-

(relationship) father/child

(emotion) relief

(word) legacy

CHASER 3: Wait For It: Write about someone holding back about something.

Wait For It lyrics: "My father commanded respect."

For the following prompts at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry (Challenges and Assignments):-

Assignment #9: Games and Sports: Task #7, Haversacking - Hand still on Quaffle as it goes through a goal hoop: Write about having trouble letting go of something (figuratively or literally)

366 Prompt Challenge: 116. Foul

Insane Prompt Challenge: 957. (title) What I Wouldn't Give

Writing Club (May): 1. Disney Challenge: Themes: Proving your worth: Write about someone displaying one of the following things: Bravery, Honesty, Selflessness.

2\. Elizabeth's Empire: 16. (character) Sirius Black

3\. Lizzy's Loft: Dialogue 4. "What is your intent?" / "To win."


	7. Chapter 7

chapter 7: simulation

For what seemed like the millionth time, Sirius checked the wall clock as he paced in the living room of this apartment. Just as he was about to summon himself a glass of water, the air cracked, signifying the arrival of someone.

"You're late," Sirius said.

"Well, I-" Remus tried.

"Mate! Haven't seen you in months!" James exclaimed, poking his head up from where he'd fallen behind a cabinet..

Sirius paused, looking at Remus with accusatory eyes. "James_?_ You brought _James?_"

James stopped mid-way of slapping Sirius on his back in greeting, his grin still frozen on his face. "Well hello to you too."

Sirius took a deep, calming breath, glaring at Remus (who was staring at his toes), checked the clock again. "_Fine._ We need to hurry, we're late. The portkey's supposed to leave in three minutes."

Ignoring his guests, Sirius began his search for the portkey. "Thirty seconds, quick…" Finding a dirty blue toothbrush, he shouted, "Hurry," and both James and Remus put one finger on it as they felt the sensation of being lifted off the ground.

~oOo~

They reached an empty meadow with a garden shed at its far end. "C'mon," Sirius said, and as he bagan striding towards the establishment, Remus hurried to catch up with him.

"It's alright, I know how he gets. You know those Muggle games going around- built environment simu-thingys and what not?"

"Simulations," Remus corrected.

"Yes, that. They use these things called virtual reality softwares, we're going to do something similar today." They reached the unhinged door of the garden shed, picking up the dead wood with both hands, Sirius made it lean against the wall.

They entered the shed, Sirius called out someone's name. "Rashad! I had a slot booked for 10.00 to 12.00!"

A white bearded face poked its head out of the adjoining room. A gruff voice—"_Angrez. Haan, haan,_ come in, come in."

The man was short and stout, and didn't waste any time dallying. "You," he said, pointing at Remus, then at a single bed at the far end of the room. "Lie down there. You," pointing towards Sirius and then at a bed opposite to the bed Remus had occupied. "There." He summoned a third bed wandlessly and placed it between Remus and Sirius's beds. "You," pointing at James, "There."

"Don't move, eyes closed," he ordered.

The man approached James's bed with a vial of yellow potion. Applying the liquid on all their foreheads, he instructed they lie still, unmoving. Task done, he began chanting, the words unrecognizable as the room collapsed around them.

The room blurred, their surroundings distorted. Soon enough, they woke up on soft grass, heads spinning. "What just happened?" asked James as Sirius scrambled in the grass as though looking for something.

"Keep your big mouth _shut,_ James," he said. "The man was supposed to explain the game; you pissed him off enough for him to not do it. I have a vague idea—we _need _the talisman to escape. This might be difficult because I don't know what it's supposed to look like." He took a deep, shaking breath and began explaining. "This is supposed to be a race of some sort- around the world, different teams start off at the same time, you've to get to the talisman before the others do, it's-"

"What if you don't? Get there before anyone else, I mean?" asked Remus.

"You start the game again, keep playing until you do."

"Well," said Remus picking up a sword from a nearby supply rack, "I guess we best hurry."

~oOo~

The landscape turned barren, dry land stretching on around them. A mountain range lay a few kilometres onward, with what seemed to be a dry lake to its left. There was scarcely any rock, much less anything else to hide behind; the boys would have felt exposed had there been any proof at all anybody else was roaming around in the strange new land too.

"Wait," Remus said, breaking the silence they had fallen into as they stared around in bewilderment. Waving his hand about, "_Revelio."_

Their surroundings changed. As if paint was dripping from the sky, the analogous landscape of brown, ochre and yellow transformed into a multicoloured one, teeming with life. Tufts of grass made their way around the imprints of their shoes, a whole city of sound danced around the air enveloping them.

"Hurry, lads," said James, jogging along the nearby river. "We haven't got much time."

"Where're you going?" called Sirius. "How do you know that's the right way?"

"Well, we've got to start somewhere," said James, now jogging backwards. "Plus, I read one of those Muggle adventure-type novels Remus always left lying around in the dorm- you're supposed to follow the river."

Sirius and Remus exchanged a surprised look. Nodding his head, Sirius started running after James, Remus in tow.

"Where do you suppose everyone is?" asked Remus after they had been jogging in silence for a few minutes. "I mean, from your description of how this works, there should be a lot more people. Are you sure we're in the right place, because I'm getting just a bit scared right now—no wands, you see, just these sword things we don't know how to use."

"You're right," replied Sirius. "I'm a bit worried. Also, what was that thing you did with the '_Revelio'_ spell? Wandless magic is quite difficult, I've seen you using it before, not on such a large scale—where have you been practicing?"

Remus looked down. "I'll tell you once we're at a safer place—back in the apartment, perhaps?"

"Oi, do you see that?" James interrupted, pointing towards the lower end of the trunk of a large tree. "I think there's someone there!"

As they hurried there at James's remark, about a dozen bulkily-built men appeared, pointing their swords from where they circled them. "Capture them, now," instructed a woman's voice, before they could do anything about it, invisible shackles wound across their wrists and feet, immobilizing them.

They were taken to a cave so small all three of their bent feet touched though they sat at its corners. "What do you suggest we do now?" asked James in a harsh whisper. "Sirius, you led us here- please tell me this was something you had evaluated before."

Sirius hung his head low.

"What we need right now is a _plan," _interjected Remus. "I have to meet Dumbledore at eight tonight, so we can't allow ourselves to get frantic and be stuck here for god-knows-how-long, alright? Sirius, where do you think we are? Have you been here before?"

"Yes, once. Father sent me here with Reggie in third year as a punishment," he scratched the back of his head, brow furrowing. "I could attempt transforming here, maybe I'll slip out of the chains that way. I'll try eavesdropping, see what I can gauge right now."

"Make it quick," said Remus. "They'll notice you're gone."

Sirius, who had already transformed into the huge black dog so similar to the Grim, wagged his tail, walking towards the exit (and entrance) of the cave. Not even fifteen minutes had passed before Sirius came back panting, and transforming, sat in a way that made it impossible to tell he'd escaped his chains.

As James opened his mouth to ask Sirius what had happened, Sirius raised a finger to his lips, indicating someone was approaching. Sure enough, they heard footfalls- loud, heavy ones suggesting someone had been sent to check up on them, albeit the pace of the sound was leisurely, the group stilled where they sat.

A large, hulking man emerged from outside into the cave, casting a shadow as he stood framed in the entrance. He put down three glasses of water, the unclear liquid sloshing down the sides of the glass, dripping into the brown rock below. "Drink," he ordered. As he left, he moved a rock over the entrance to the cave, blocking them in.

Before either of his friends could even touch the glass, Sirius whisper-shouted, "Don't!" Throwing the liquid in the glasses at the side, he explained, "I'm quite sure that lady- Gansey, she calls herself- added something to the water. The food, even. Men and women both acting like they are on drugs, their eyes rimmed red and whatnot… if we're to escape, we mustn't eat or drink anything they give us, not at all.

"What I've gathered so far is that it's been dawn here for as long as anyone can remember- that itself is a convoluted fact seeing Gansey's regulating what they remember and think, for the most part. This makes it easy to lose time. I think I was gone for almost an hour, yet I heard only a few snatches of conversation-"

"You were gone fifteen minutes, Sirius," interrupted James.

"Case in point," said Remus. "Time is not the same everywhere. Perhaps it's moving slower here. Continue, Sirius."

"Yeah. What I think is the talisman we're supposed to find to escape serves a dual purpose. As long as it remains in a certain location in the game, it regulates time. Problem is, the talisman's lost. Everyone who was sent into the game in the past couple of months hasn't come back. They're either dead or members of one of the groups like the one Gansey's controlling."

"What d'you mean they _die?_" said James, horrified. "Wouldn't that bloke- Rashad, wasn't it- know about it?"

"That's part of the problem. The system is such that to allow a larger number of people to play the game at once, Rashad moves the beds after he shifts us into this world. Perhaps he assumes everyone who finished the game just gets up and walks away, since you pay for it while making a reservation."

"_Merlin,_ Sirius. Couldn't you have chosen something a little more light-hearted for a date?"

"First, Remus enjoys this stuff. Second, we need a plan to escape this place. Also, I hear footsteps."

"Quick, transform and slip into the chains, Sirius. We cannot afford to take a single risk right now," said Remus. Sirius did so.

"So what're we looking for?" asked James. "The talisman- what's it supposed to be like?"

"Well, since there are quite a few people going about at any given time, there are multiple talismans, it doesn't matter which one we find. Each of them is connected to one another, so if someone were to disable any one of them, all the others would be invalid as well till the spell is reversed. So if you spot anything you think might possess a magical signature, or if it gives out such an aura, point it out."

"A book I read had a short section on talismans- they're made of either rock or cloth, they'll be colourful and very striking. Easy to recognize, difficult to identify. I think once you see it, you'll know if it's a talisman or not."

"Okay the-"

"Silence!" a voice roared. The same man as earlier appeared as the stone at the entrance was made to roll away. The three boys covered their eyes with their arms, shielding them against the sudden harsh light. Then, a simultaneous tug on all three of their chains as they were urged forward by the great beast of a man in front of them, made to climb out of the cave. Outside, perhaps a hundred paces away from the cave, they met the woman.

"That'll be all," she said to the unnamed man, and with a wave of her hand, the four of them were transported to yet another cave, though it was much better lit and more spacious.

Another wave of her hand and the chains fell off. "I'm Gansey," she said. "Introduce yourselves."

Remus spoke for all of them. "I'm John," he said. "These are my friends, Andre," as he pointed at Sirius, and pointing at James, "Justin." As he said this, he exchanged silent warnings with both of them that they were to follow his move.

"Well, it's nice to meet you. I trust you find your accommodations to your liking?"

"They were lacking," answered Remus. "What do you want from us."

She came closer, until Remus was able to feel her breath on his neck. She made a sound suggesting she sniffed his neck. "Oh, I see the potion hasn't taken full affect yet. Worry not, worry not. We'll all be one team soon."

From behind Gansey's back, Sirius nodded once at Remus. "What do you want from us?" repeated Remus.

She smiled. "As of now, nothing."

With a snap of her fingers, they were returned to their small, hunching cave.

~oOo~

It was dark again. A new set of chains snapped onto their wrists and ankles as they tried to sit back down amidst lots of heads clashing together, limbs intertwining. When they were able to settle down, the sound of deep, hurried breaths filled the air. Nobody attempted to speak for the first couple of minutes. Once their breaths had evened out, James spoke, "Remus, what was the wandless thing you did at the start of this game? D'you think you'll be able to replicate it right now?"

Remus furrowed his eyebrows. "Yeah, I think so, yes." Then, with a look of intense concentration upon his face, he waved his hand, whispering, "_Lumos_." A tick passed, nothing happened. Again, "_Lumos." _A white ball of striking light drifted into the centre of the room, Sirius and James stared at it in appreciation.

"Great, love," said Sirius. "Try the chains next."

Remus scrunched up his face. "_Relashio,"_ he said, snapping his fingers near the chains thethering him to the cave walls. The chains jumped around in protest, didn't come loose. Snapping his fingers a couple more times, he succeeded, the chains falling away with a feel of red-hot victory.

"This is great, boys," said Remus as he released Sirius and James of their chains as well.

"What now?" asked Sirius.

James stared at him. "_You_ brought us here. Shouldn't you know?"

"Well, I was just asking. I propose we move the rock, go outside, deal with problems as they come along."

"What, in the broad daylight?" questioned Remus.

"It's always dawn here," Sirius pointed out.

"We still don't know how many people are keeping watch outside. We could make it but if we get caught, they'll be force-feeding us whatever low-quality drugs she's giving them," said James.

"We don't have another choice, we cannot apparate without our wands."

"Remus did it,"

"Wandless _magic_ is not the same as wandless _apparation,_" said Remus. "Since we've already checked for alternate exits, we have no choice but to roll out the rock at the entrance. Quietly," he added, with a pointed look at Sirius.

They didn't go quietly.

Remus wasn't able to get the rock to move, instead, he harnessed the magic in the air to blow it apart. There wasn't anyone keeping watch outside the cave, the explosion was loud enough for all the guards in the vicinity to come running to check what happened even in their drug-induced stupor, with Remus being the only one who could perform wandless magic, there was no option of staying back, fighting them.

So they ran. More people began chasing them every moment, even though Remus fired whatever little stupefying spells he could, all of them knew they were going to be cornered soon.

They reached a rock wall. Facing the men who had come to catch them, they pressed their backs against the wall as hard as they could.

"This is it, mates," said James.

"Sirius, didn't you say people could die in here?" asked Remus.

Sirius gulped. "...Yes, I think they're going to be waiting for Gansey right now, so we might still have a little time to escape."

"_How?" _asked James.

Remus vanished just as Gansey emerged from within the mass of people in front of them.

"Well, well, you're not quite as untalented as I had assumed. I take it none of you had the water the dear man brought you?" Gansey asked, still sugar-sweet.

Sirius looked at James. "This is our last chance. Let's try learning some wandless magic, eh?"

James giving a nod, they charged forward, together. When called out, the magic came to them. They weren't able to maneuver it per their liking, but they pushed forward anyway. As the fallen guards dropped their swords, they picked them up as well. Swinging them in a wide arc, they created a berth big enough that no one was able to approach them.

Gansey came walking towards them. When she closed her fist, both their swords went to her and fell down to the ground near her feet.

"Seems like your friend John escaped. Smart of him, though I presume that's not his real name. Tell me-"

Remus returned right beside them. Evaluating the situation, he screamed, putting a hand forward, "Here! grab my hand!"

Seeing a glinting green stone there, both Sirius and James did. They began spinning just as blue began seeping back into the perpetual pink-tinted sky, began spinning as the men blinked their eyes in confusion, aware.

They were spit out onto the same grass meadow they walked on only a few hours before.

Around them, an odd twenty to thirty people were spit out as well, all bloody and bruised in some or the other way.

"Where had you gone off to?" asked Sirius.

Smiling Remus said, "Since no one was able to find the talisman in the area Gansey had control over, and we could see no other person in the landscape we first came onto, it seemed obvious people there had either found the talisman, or transferred to the other realm. It was a do-or-die situation, so I tried my luck."

"Yeah, you saved us from doing-_and-_dying."

James laughed. "I think we all deserve a cuppa now, eh, boys?"

~oOo~

word count: 2982

For QLFC:

**CHASER 3: **[_swashbuckling_] Will almost certainly involve sword-fighting and will usually be set in the past (though won't have any basis in reality)

Optional prompts:

Song - The Sound of Silence by Simon & Garfunkel

lyrics: Because a vision softly creeping

[setting] dawn

[word] Talisman


	8. Chapter 8

chapter 8: bounce back

summary: regulus and barty- a relationship that shouldn't have ever worked, seeing how different they were. but it did. until it didn't.

~oOo~

**Monday, an accidental (for the most part) early-morning encounter at 6:30**

"Barty," said Regulus, pulling out a bar stool beside the only other figure at The Leaky Cauldron, "you've been avoiding me."

The man next to him— an average-heighted specimen with tanned skin— took a sip out of his cup of coffee in acknowledgement. He looked up to check the clock directly in front of him, and putting down a couple of Sickles on the counter, turned to leave.

"Barty," repeated Regulus to no answer. As the man placed his hand on the door to exit the inn, he added, "I'm sorry."

The man stopped in his tracks, and taking that as a good sign, Regulus continued. "The circumstances right now are unfortunate, and I apologise for not opening up about it sooner. I understand that my mistake and shortcoming hurt you, and while I can't promise it won't happen again, I vow to try my best to keep you from duress, physical or emotional. It was this world we were born into, and we have to make do with it. Please, Barty. You know the last two months have been difficult."

The man turned around, exasperation clear in his eyes. "'I can't promise it won't happen again'? Have you forgotten all we've talked about, Black?"

Regulus winced, and took a step closer. "Look, I've told you—" he paused, sniffing the air around him. Incredulously, he looked at Barty. "Have you started smoking?"

"None of your business. Tell me, how can I trust you when you refuse to change?"

"Have you started smoking?" asked Regulus. "Don't lie."

Barty sighed. "No, I have not. Someone I know smokes, and seeing that you're clearly not sincere about your apology, I have other business to attend to. Don't bother contacting me again."

As he pushed the door open, Regulus hurriedly went after him, placing his hand on the man's forearm to prevent him from apparating away. "You've been spending your nights with Flint, haven't you?"

Barty looked at him with steely but indifferent eyes. "And so what if I have? Correct me if I'm wrong, but _you _were the one who refused to shelter me from my father, _you _were the one who's been courting and pursuing countless women even when you knew how it affects me, _you_—"

"I have certain obligations to my family! Not that you'd understand, seeing how—"

"I have someplace to be—"

"Oh yeah, sure, go back to your dear Mr. Flint—" Regulus raised his voice as Barty pushed his hand away and squeezed himself through empty space. Then, to whatever imprint of the man still left in the surroundings, he shouted, "Why don't you!

~oOo~

**Tuesday, confusing clarity where the Dark Lord has set up base**

The Dark Lord was smiling. It was a perfectly natural, satisfied smile, and it was this very thing that perplexed Barty. His red-rimmed eyes were small crescent slits stretching on his face, and his mouth was curved most unnaturally. He sat at the head of the Lestranges' table, and looked straight ahead, even as people came silently on their taut haunches and took their assigned seats. One chair remained empty as he began speaking in his snake whisper.

"Regulus," he drawled, his voice husky, but crystal-clear, "you have, over the years, continually proved your dedication. This morning, you gave it to us as though writ. In return, you will be given what you have been denied for no mistake of yours— the Dark Mark."

A small smatter of applause broke at the end of this speech, but Voldemort raised his hand to call for silence, and resumed speaking as the last claps faded away. "For the benefit of those who weren't present this morning— Regulus was brash enough to venture into a whole colony of _Muggles_, and he succeeded in relieving three houses before he was called back. The missing chair belongs to Anthony— our brave warrior who couldn't make it past the first house. But Regulus here did what Anthony couldn't. Be sure to tell Orion how far you've come."

Again, as the low, polite claps emerged, Regulus bowed his head, and as he nodded in acknowledgement of his promotion, his eyes locked with Barty's for a split second. He looked away.

After they had all been dismissed, Barty went searching for Regulus. He found him in The Leaky Cauldron, sitting on the same barstool as on the previous day, playing with a bottle of butterbeer. Barty charged towards him, and pulling him backwards by the corner, spun him around. "What the _hell_ were you thinking!"

Regulus looked at him with victorious, _alive_ eyes. "Isn't this what you've been about? I'm making the world free of _filth,_ and—"

"_No,_ Reg! I was about this when I was _sixteen_ for Merlin's sake! _You_ made me see better, and though we joined the Death Eaters to support them in their motives, our views have changed— you made me realise my father is right, the Dark Lord wrong, so _why are you doing this_?"

"I—"

"Crouch!" came a deep, joyous voice. A man with thin, gelled black hair approached them, and placing his hand on Barty's shoulder, said, "I got a day off today, would you care to join me for a cuppa at the manor?"

Barty's head swung furtively between Regulus and Flint, and before he could stumble out an appropriate response, Regulus turned away. "Enjoy your _tea,_" he said.

~oOo~

**Wednesday, a drunken midnight unregretful mistake**

There was a knock on Barty's window. As he made his way there through his sleep-induced state, a series of low giggles followed the knock.

"Regulus!" he said, opening the window. "What're you doing here?"

Wandlessly, as Regulus made his ungraceful way into the suite, Barty brightened the room, and as he turned around to see Regulus, he gasped in shock.

"What did you do this time," he whispered.

Regulus, all dripping wet with blood that was quite obviously not his own, giggled again. "Me—me n' some guys were bored- we were bored so we," he paused again, drunken joy evident on his face, "went to a Muggle village in the countryside. T'was nice—had fun." he fell down and Barty caught him.

"I'll clean you up, don't go anywhere," he said.

Fifteen minutes later, Regulus, scrubbed out of the blood and in fresh clothes, lay on Barty's bed. "Just like old times," he whispered as Barty crawled under the covers with him.

"Just like old times," repeated Barty.

"Tell me," said Regulus drowsily. "Flint was here before, wasn't he? You smell of cigarette smoke."

Regulus's tone wasn't accusatory, simply observational, so Barty didn't deign to reply. "Want to go to the Leaky for a quick beer? Old Tom is nearly always up."

"Sure," murmured Regulus, and holding onto him, Barty apparated them both to the inn.

"Two butterbeers, please," said Barty to the innkeeper, depositing four Sickles on the counter.

Regulus eyed the coins warily. "You know you always pay a lot more than its actual price, don't you?"

"Yeah, well, it's my father's money."

Regulus grinned and suddenly, they were back in the Hogwarts courtyard, sitting against the same old tree by the lake, laughing at small, boyish things that were funny only in that moment.

~oOo~

**Thursday, sleepy morning hours and a promise left open**

An alarm went off, and before Barty could reach to turn it off, it stopped ringing. The hand around his waist lifted, and the comfortable warmth curled around him disappeared. "Reg," he murmured sleepily.

"It's okay," came a voice. "Go back to sleep, I have business to attend to."

"Don't… kill… anyone…"

The only answer he got was a short snort.

~oOo~

**Friday, dissonance**

A meeting with the Dark Lord in the morning. An announcement, a brief show of teeth, and a shattering scream. Blood on Regulus's lip, a quiet sneer. Barty's shock-widened eyes at the searing of a new tattoo on Regulus's skin. The Dark Lord's gleeful, manic laughter. A point of no return.

~oOo~

**Saturday, an apology gone wrong**

They meet at the Leaky Cauldron, again.

"I didn't think you would come," said Regulus, unapologetic for his actions over the past week.

"I didn't think I would, either," replied Barty stiffly. "Let's get a table at the back, shall we?"

"Oh yes, sure." Regulus gestured for Barty to lead the way. "Do you remember the first time we met here?"

Both of them slipped into a booth at the far back. "How could I forget? Ours was a young schoolboy love, full of excitement-"

"'Was'?" Regulus moved in his chair until he was staring searingly into Barty's eyes. He waited a moment for the full effect of the singular word to sink in. still? This- this quickening of the heart's pace, goosebumps even as the most _natural_ sense of calmness washes over you? Tell me I am not deluded."

Barty matched his level gaze. "Was this not the question I asked you half a year ago? When you refused to look me in the eye, when you had a girl on your arm at a party _you _asked me to? Admit it, Regulus, we haven't been lovers for a long time."

"I've never stopped loving you- even when I came to know of your dalliance with another man (that too Flint, of all people), I didn't stop loving you. Please, can we move past this?"

Barty hummed in consideration. "Okay. First tell me what happened over the past week."

Regulus's eyebrows stitched together, he rubbed them with nervous tension. "Let's… can we please forget about that? Please?"

"Oh? What was that? An honest mistake? And for what?"

"Look, you know it, and here, even I'm admitting it- I was jealous, and I lost control. There."

"Is that what it is? One thing doesn't go according to your oh so important plan and you feel the need to lash out so unabashedly?"

Regulus threw his hands up in the air in frustration. "You're impossible to talk to!"

"No," said Barty firmly. "_You're _the one being difficult right now. If this is a conversation you're not willing to have, you're welcome to get up and leave."

"Fine!" said Regulus, leaving the inn just as Tom came over with their drinks.

By evening, his bone-deep ache for Barty was gone, he was satiated by blood.

~oOo~

**Sunday, redemption isn't actually too far**

Flint entered his bedroom from a night out, and fumbling for the familiar package by his bedside table, he put a cigarette in his mouth with a sharp sigh of relief. The door closed with a bang behind him.

"Well, well," came a voice from the chair at his desk. "Mr, Flint, what a pleasure."

"Black," said Flint. "I had a feeling you'd visit soon. What, come here to threaten me?"

Regulus smiled. It was the dangerous sort, one with no restraint, no fear of the consequences. Flint was five years older and much more bulkily built, yet he stalled in his path, hand carefully creeping towards wand.

"No," admitted Regulus, after a pulsating two minute pause. "I had something more… permanent in mind. _Stupefy!_"

"_Avada Kedavra!_"

"_Protego!_" Then, after the spell deflected. "_Expelliarmus!"_

Flint's wand came flying into Regulus's hand. "Really?" said Regulus. "Is this all you got? What was your N.E.W.T. score? I recall it being 8- or was that something you father had to do for you, too?"

"_Protego," _said Regulus calmly. And as Flint fell down, Regulus walked deliberately towards him, taunt after taunt jumping off his tongue. "So. Damn. Useless. You're wasting our time."

Regulus clicked his tongue just before Flint took his final breath.

"_Avada Kedavra,_" he said with finality as the life went out of Flint's eyes.

Two hours later, Regulus offered his faithful elf, Kreacher, to the Dark Lord.

And so the snowball rolled on.

~oOo~

an explanation: i've been quite liberal with canon here. what i've tried to explore through this story is that perhaps regulus got influenced by sirius's ideals while still in hogwarts, and convinced barty as well to see the truth. barty is what anchors regulus to his goodness (what with the abusive parents and repressive environment), and once regulus has lost barty to flint, he just… lets go of that. maybe this is how he gives kreacher to voldemort, to earn points in his favor. but when the elf returns home, mad from drinking the poison, regulus realises all that he had put at risk, and reconsiders all past actions and goes to steal the horcrux. now, since voldemort doesn't know of regulus's betrayal, he probably assumes that he was either lost in service, or that he ran away. seeing how dedicated he thought regulus was to the 'cause', he probably assumes the further. this devastates barty, and he spends the rest of his days fighting for what he thought his one true lover believed in: voldemort's cause.

ik, i'm probably reaching here, but my brain is refusing to work asdffdfghj

word count: 1970

written for the following prompts at the qlfc:

**Chaser 3: **Baby Jane Hudson (Whatever Happened to Baby Jane) - Write about someone who lashes out because of jealousy.

[setting] The Leaky Cauldron

[character] Regulus Black

[item] cigarette

written for the following points at hogwarts (challenges and assignments):

IPC: 60. (word) taunt

366: 105. final


End file.
